13 Reasons…Why?

IMG_0643I was speaking to someone yesterday about that Netflix series “13 Reasons Why.” My youngest daughter watched it and we’ve discussed it several times since. The lady I was speaking to has also watched it as she wanted to see what the fuss was about and she told me that all that it did was to leave her feeling angry because it just glorified something senseless. I haven’t seen it and I doubt I will watch it – though never say never – but this is my take on the premise of a girl leaving messages to the people who she felt drove her to suicide.

Regardless of the “reasons” this girl felt she had to commit suicide, or the people behind those reasons, the bottom line is this…No matter what reasons you have, no matter who has hurt you or how they have done this…No matter how much you want to make them feel bad and cause them pain just as you feel they’ve done to you, the end result will always be that if you commit suicide, you will be dead. The people you’ve wanted to hurt might feel bad for a time…maybe a long time…but you’ll be dead for all time, so who really wins out of that scenario?

It has been my understanding, spiritually speaking, that we all die at exactly the moment and in the exact way in which we are “supposed to”. We choose our ultimate demise before we even get here and so I suppose, if I look at it that way then I would say that if you decide to take your own life and succeed in doing so, then suicide is the choice you made before you were ever incarnated and that even if you hadn’t chosen that path, you would have made your earthly exit that day anyway, perhaps in some other way. But what if that isn’t the case? What if suicide is merely an option to end an incarnation that your physical self somehow decides is too hard, or not worth going on with. What then?

That means we have options. Since starting on my spiritual journey, I t has always been my understanding that ending your life via suicide will basically see you sent straight back to do it all over again…same issues, same problems, same everything to deal with and overcome, so why would you want to put yourself through that twice on purpose? We are all just souls having a human experience and whatever our experience might involve, it helps us to learn the spiritual lessons we have chosen to learn during the planning stages of our prebirth. Then, having learnt these lessons, we add to universal knowledge when we die and move forward to our next incarnation. Choosing to end our life doesn’t bring an end to that agreement that we made to learn those lessons. It simply prolongs the time that it is going to take for us to learn them.

Life can be hard, no one is disputing that and we all have times in our lives where we don’t really feel like continuing but what is the alternative? To end your life, causing heartbreak and devastation that lasts a lifetime for all those who love you? Or to work through your shit and come out the other side so that you never have to go through those particular lessons again?

As a medium, most spirits who come through to me having passed via suicide, express remorse to those they have hurt through their actions and an understanding that things would have got better if they’d just waited a little…made different choices. If only… Rarely I’ll get one come through who doesn’t feel that way and is happy with their choice… usually though even these souls feel regret about hurting those closest to them as a result of their actions. They simply felt that they had no choice.

What I would say to anyone contemplating suicide however is this… wait…sleep on your decision…talk things over with someone close to you, or failing that, to a professional. The darkness always becomes the day, so don’t give up…allow this to happen for you too and don’t allow the pain you are feeling right now to destroy you or the lives of those you love. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other because you are loveable and you are worthy, even if you don’t know it yet.



Eating the jam donut

IMG_0639Well I did it! I started my yoga tonight and I loved it. I was actually terrified about going as the day wore on…almost to the point of not going. I am generally not at all physically flexible and so the fear of not being able to actually do any of the poses was almost overwhelming… but I did it! Despite the jam donut I sabotaged myself with on the way there. 😳

What’s more, I loved it! It wasn’t anywhere near as hard as I thought it would be and I managed to do all but two of the poses without too much trouble. Even the ones I had trouble with, I managed to do with a little help from our gorgeous instructor, Liz. My previous one off experience with yoga was nothing like this and I’m so glad that I didn’t let that put me off for life. This time I loved everything about it! The physicality but also the mindfulness. The philosophy of letting shit go that no longer serves you. It can be hard to do but it’s always sooo worth it and this gives you an almost physical way of doing that. A way that seems to make it easier as you breathe through it and almost wash it away with each out breath.

Mid life has placed its hands on my shoulders recently, pulled me close and whispered “its time”. If you’re ever going to take your lie by the balls (or the ovaries as it were), you need to do it now! All of the defence mechanisms you’ve built up to defend yourself with need to go now because your armour is stopping you from being the person you’re truly meant to be. Stop searching for things outside yourself to make you feel secure, or loveable. There are too many adventures yet to be had, so stop worrying about what other people think of you and get on with the business of living with your whole heart. Its time to stand up and be noticed because you were born to be seen and loved and so your mission statement should read “I dared to live because life is short but boundless and beautiful with the potential for abundance at every turn. Know that’s what you deserve and that will always be what you will have.”

Even if you do eat the odd jam donut 😜.

Advice to live by I think…don’t you?


Dropping your Baggage

So yesterday I was talking about my little mid life crisis and that got me thinking about other women I know through work and elsewhere who seem to be having similar little “moments” at present. It’s like, we know we’re here for a reason right? We know there’s something more than…this… but what is it? Sometimes it can feel like we’re standing on the edge of a great change but when it comes down to stepping off the ledge we don’t always seem to connect with exactly what we’re stepping on to. We have the commitment to our dreams and the desire to embrace them but lack clear direction and that stops us from grabbing onto what we really want to be doing “on purpose” and so we find ourselves floating around hoping that our destiny will connect with us.

This can be frustrating beyond belief! We know that our dream lives HAVE to begin with self love but this can be a difficult thing to achieve as we are conditioned to put everybody else’s needs before our own…anything else is just selfish, right?? Wrong! We all have that shitty voice in our heads that likes to chime in at the most inopportune moments to tell us that we’re not good enough, not loveable enough, not worthy of getting the things we want in our lives and our job is to change that because we are all wonderful, amazing and worthy…completely loveable just as we are!

The time is here for us to start refocusing our attention to our goals, or to begin creating new ones if the old ones aren’t working for us any more. Revitalise old projects or start birthing some new ones. Let your truth reveal itself as you lay any shitty past energies and experiences to rest and take hold of new opportunities, even if this means revisiting old ideas and plans that you may not have been able to grab hold of before. Stop overthinking and procrastinating and just do it! The worst thing that can happen is that some of your plans won’t work – and so what if they don’t? At least you will know and in chasing these things, you may end up somewhere totally unexpectedly better. Stop using your age as a barrier! So you’re older…so what? Why does being older mean we stop believing in our ability to achieve…to make something of ourselves…to be who we truly know we can be??

Spiritually speaking there are no bad choices. Every choice you make is leading you to where you’re truly meant to be in your life, even if it’s nothing like you planned it and sometimes the most beautiful gifts come in the ugliest packages. Holding onto baggage either consciously or subconsciously, mentally or energetically makes it impossible for us to experience the true joy and peace contained in every moment of our lives. It creates disquiet, unease, discomfort and stops you from feeling joy. The hard truth of it is that we can’t truly grow until we stop carrying our crap! It might have been a shitty road but it’s your road and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how hard the road is, or how many mistakes you’ve made along the way, so long as you keep moving down it.

It may help you to remember…and I know this helps me in times when I feel I can’t move forward… Sometimes the problems we have are actually opportunities
Sometimes the darkness will lead to the light
Sometimes pain is the best, or only teacher
Sometimes fear becomes the most powerful fuel
Sometimes the mistake is the lesson
So let your weaknesses become your strengths

Be who you are because you are enough! Xxphoto

Connecting with your “Best Self”

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching over the past few months as I slide down that slippery slope towards my 48th year. Looking at what I have and haven’t achieved in my life. What I’d still like to achieve…all that mid life crisis-ey type stuff that people my age see to go through. Ironically, I’ve also found myself working more and more with others who are feeling a little the same…questioning, wondering…searching and I’ve found that taking people I to an altered state so that they can find their own answers really works well.

Connecting to your own higher self, your spiritual guides, teachers and friends can give you all the answers you will ever need in your life. We have been so conditioned to look externally for our answers and our happiness that we can become almost paralysed when faced with decisions if we don’t have anyone to make them for us. We run around asking others what they think when at the end of the day, it’s us who have to live with the consequences of our decisions so it really doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks!

As I always tell my clients…listen to your heart. Your head is preprogrammed to make the same fear based decisions over and over again, almost as though there’s a formula to things. I’ve always thought that was why people who are great in business so often struggle with matters of the heart…because unlike in business, there is no formula to follows no fool proof way of making things work. You can’t control what someone else is going to do no matter how hard you try and so all you can ever do in your life, on your journey, is to follow the path that calls most loudly to you.

If you go with what’s in your heart then 99% of the time things will work out, whether you apply it to staying or leaving a relationship, leaving your job to take a chance on following your passion, taking that trip, starting to cross things off your bucket list…whatever it is that is nagging or niggling at you. You can connect with the answers, divine wisdom, whatever you want to call it and when you start heading down this path, things become so much clearer.

For me it’s led me to start yoga and Pilates…strengthening my body so that I can clear and strengthen my mind. It’s a nice place to start looking for peace I think and I’m sure it will only help me to help others on their own journeys…the thing I love to do most!IMG_0630